Stranger: hi

You: Hiya sugar candy

Stranger: candy boy?

You: That's me, babe

Stranger: do not fuck

Stranger: you are oce

You: Well fucking can give you aids

You: I will not fuck

Stranger: so what

You: so dont fuck

Stranger: good bye bitch

Stranger: dickhead

You: bye go eat a dog

Stranger: use the condom

Stranger: bitch

You: you monkey face

Stranger: hahaha

Stranger: crazy

Stranger: yes im monkey

Stranger: but

You: yes you are

Stranger: you head is dick

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: What the fuck...

Stranger: what happened?

You: I saw your face.

Stranger: omg what a disaster

You: That's what I said.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hiya Sugar

Stranger: Are you a camwhore?!

You: Umm yes

You: You?

Stranger: No, But i'd love to see some tits.

You: Well...maybe we could warm up first...

Stranger: How would we do that?

You: Cyber.

Stranger: Ohkay.

Stranger: But, I do get the real stuff afterwords right?

You: Yes.

You: If you're good.

Stranger: I'll try my best..

You: Okay..*I drop my towel about to get in the shiower.*

Stranger: * I watch you as you do this, quicky stripping down and walking over to you grabbing your hips.-

You: *I moan softly, looking at you.*

Stranger: *I slide my half erect cock inbetween your legs, and it sticks out on the other end, as I gently kiss your neck.-

You: mmmm, you're soooo big....oh my. *I feel the warmth microwaving my vagina.*

Stranger: Should..I..slide it in? *I grab your breasts as i ask this.*

You: (btw, what's your name?)

Stranger: (Mason)

You: Oh my Mason...it looks like you'll be cleaning more than my pool today you bad boy.

You: Slide it in...give it all to me.

Stranger: *I slides my hands down from your breasts to your hips as I gently slide my cock into you.* Ohh..Yes Ma'am..

You: Ohhh..goodd...Mason, you big dirty dog. *I wiggle on your cock like a dying worm.*

Stranger: Ohh..You're so tight today Ma'am.. -I start to slide it in all the way.-

You: *I put my hands up against the wall* Oh fuck me Mason...put something in my asshole.

Stranger: Y-yes Ma'am.. -I begin to fuck your tight pussy as i grab a brush and begin to slide the handle of it into your asshole.-

You: OHHH...fuckkkk....Mason you're fucking my asshole with a dirty old hairbrush, slap my butt!

Stranger: -I slap your ass as i start fucking your sweet pussy even faster while sliding the brush handle in and out of your asshole.-

You: One sec hun...

You: -I slide off your cock and run into the bathroom, closing the door tightly-

Stranger: -I stand and wait around, eager to fuck your tight pussy again.-

You: -I handle some business in the bathroom and open the door-...all better baby

You: I want you to take me on the sink, right here.

You: -I run my hands over your cock, before spreading my legs for you-

Stranger: Yes Ma'am.. - I grab your waist and I slid my cock inside your sweet pussy.-

You: ohhh, is that all you got big boy?

Stranger: -I grip tighter and begin to fuck your tight pussy abit harder and faster then before.-

You: -I smell the air, and it smells a little funny, grabbing my buttcheeks and spreading them for you.- put something in my ass again!

Stranger: Y-yes ma'am. -I grab the dildo hjidden under the sink and ram it into your ass.-

You: OJYYY! ughg! - I'm taken by shock, when I look over and see I didn't flush the toilet -

You: Shove it in all the wyaaaayy...ohh all the way in my ass.

Stranger: -I shove the dildo all the way in as I continue to pound your pussy.-

You: - As you pound me harder, out of the corner of my eye...I see my floating log, the air turning brown -

Stranger: -I seem to ignore the smell as I start to blow a huge load of cum into your sweet pussy.-

You: Yes, yes, yes....!!! UUGHFDS123123i9aaaa -I throw up chunks of cucumber all over the sink as you cum inside me-

You: Dear...could we please move to the bedroom?

Stranger: Y-yes ma'am.

You: -I waddle like a penguine into the bedroom and push you down on the bed.-

You: You've been bad Mason, fucking me, I think you need to be punished.

Stranger: O-okay..?

You: - I get us in a 69, kissing the tip of your cock -

Stranger: -I spread your pussy open and slid my tongue inside.-

You: - I take your cock all the way down, gagging-

Stranger: Oh..God..-I feel your mouth all around my cock.-

You: - But something's not right, you look up and black stuff is creeping down my pussy -

You: - You don't want to believe it, but I fart, and I blow my chunks of brown chocolate in your eyes -

You: OH GOD, NOT AGAIN....

You: - Your head starting to look like a hershey's kiss someone left in the sun -

You: - The smell is unbearable, and I start throwing up on your cock -

Stranger: Oh..no..
Stranger: You pervert fucker...what the hell...

You: - My head snaps backwards and I start crawling on the wall -

You: - I crawl out of bed, into the bathroom -

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: How cute can you be?

Stranger: Incredibly

Stranger: But I guess it also depends on what you mean by cute

Stranger: Looking?

Stranger: Or actions

You: Actions of course

Stranger: How about planning out first dates?

You: Hmm, that can be

You: Tell me more!

Stranger: Well

Stranger: Lets say I've asked you out

Stranger: I'd begin by picking you up

Stranger: That's the way Hollywood has bred into me it must be

Stranger: Oh, an we have to assume you're a girl

Stranger: (are you)?

Stranger: and*

You: Oh, no...but for this demonstration

You: I'm a girl

Stranger: Alright.

Stranger: I'll call you Lisa for now then

You: Okay!

Stranger: So Lisa, I would begin by picking you up

Stranger: We would then proceed to the nearest fair, or amusement park

Stranger: We would spend the night riding rides, and I would attempt to win you a stuffed animal.

You: Oh, you're such a hot guy, I love amusement parks!

You: Woo, I love my boobs too!

Stranger: I like them as well

Stranger: From there, we would proceed to the beach

Stranger: Where we would walk along it

Stranger: Perhaps swim

Stranger: Then have a bonfire

Stranger: Watch the sunset.

Stranger: How was that Lisa? Am I getting any?

You: Well...

You: No.

Stranger: Damn

Stranger: How close was I

Stranger: ?

You: Let me add this up

You: ONE SECOND

You: I'm feeling generous

You: 6/10

Stranger: Hmmm

Stranger: Where could improve

Stranger: Originality?

You: Yes, for one.

Stranger: I figured as much. It was pretty cliche

Stranger: Where else

You: I mean

You: Cute and romantic isn't really an amusement park

Stranger: Pshhh

Stranger: Serious?

You: And you didn't even have a moment with me on the faris wheel

Stranger: That was a given

Stranger: I would have paid the guy to stop us at the top

Stranger: Perhaps I should have expanded on the amusement park

Stranger: And when I said amusement park

Stranger: I meant more, small town fair

Stranger: with a midway

Stranger: you know what I mean?

You: I'm thinking more like romantic dinner

Stranger: Really? I think that's overdone

Stranger: Plus, that would come out on later dates

Stranger: First date, you want to have fun

Stranger: Not put pressure on by being too romantic

You: ANYWAYS

You: That was too rushed

You: And the cute factor was meh

You: Nothing really cute

Stranger: I disagree. But lets hear your first date with cute factor

Stranger: You can call me Beth.

You: Okay

You: Beth.

You: I walk up to the door

You: And knock

Stranger: Hello? Oh hi (your name here)

You: Robert

Stranger: Hi Robert.

You: Hiya Beth, you look absolutely stunning, ready for our date?

Stranger: Absolutely

Stranger: Where are you taking me? And you don't look so bad yourself ;)

You: I ask the questions here Beth, you give the fucking answers.

You: *I hand you a rose from behind my back*

Stranger: Awww. You didn't have to.

You: *Kiss you on the cheek and walk you out to the car, opening the door for you.*

You: After you my lady.

Stranger: Thank you

You:*As we ride in the car, I chat you up and say about one hundred million cute things to you*

You: We're here!

You: *Runs around and opens the door for you*

You: Beth?

You: Holy fuck...*I hit you over the head with a 7up bottle* Wake up!

Stranger: I'm waiting to see what happens next

Stranger: Besides, you said no questions

You: I need interaction to make this date happen!

Stranger: I'm afraid of you now

Stranger: Cute factor falling with all the abuse...

You: Girls love that, don't worry about it.

Stranger: hahahahha

Stranger: ok

Stranger: Where are we?

You: At the restaurant

Stranger: What type of food are we eating

You: Will you shut your fat mouth, we're not even out of the car yet.

You: *Opens the door for you.*

Stranger: * I step out*

You: BABADEE BOO BA DEE, THE QUEEN HAS ARRIVED *I shout and do a cartwheel*

You: *Now I step back and intertwine our arms as we walk through the doors of the restaurant.*

Stranger: *I'm slightly weirded out by this scene, but play along since you are my ride*

You: Damnit man, don't you know anything about women!

You: They like it when you're silly and crazy, but in a cute way.

Stranger: Hey man, I ain't stopping you

Stranger: Lay on the magic

You: This is how you seperate yourself from the competition damnit!

You: Alright now we walk through the doors

You: *I argue with the lady at the front desk.* What the fuck do you mean, you're closing.

You: Fuck you, monkey face!

You: *They kick us out*

You: *Instead we drivethrough mcdonalds*

You: What do you want my precious cupcake?

Stranger: Just a cheeseburger...with no onions or pickles

You: *pssshttt* I'll have a one cheeseburger with no onions or pickles.. *pssshhhttt* and one happy meal.

You: *pssshhttt* that'll be $5

You: What the fuck, you raised your prices here?

You: Listen lady, I'm not afraid to drive through taco bell

You: *I park the car in the parking lot* Here is your burger sweetie pie.

Stranger: *I don't really want to eat it, because I'm a member of PETA, and a total bitch about stuff like that*

Stranger: *But I do anyways*

You: Wait, you're a member of PETA arent you?

Stranger: Yes

You: Well, why'd you tell me to order this burger then?

Stranger: Well I was trying to be polite RObert. I didn't want to spoil our date

You: ....wow, you cold hearted wretched whore.

You: I didn't even find the toy in my happy meal yet.

Stranger: I'm sorry Robert. But did you really want to eat that anyways? I mean, they are hurting animals!

You: *I throw the burger in your face and push you out the car*

You: FUCK OFF

You: *I speed away*

Stranger: RObert, wait!!!!

You: How did I do?

Stranger: 9/10 sir, almost based entirely on how you treated a member of PETA

You: Well, I was going to kill you when you gave me the results.

You: But I think that's acceptable.

Stranger: Its tolerable

Stranger: I'm almost rated you higher, but you weren't violent enough

You: Damn, no wonder.

You: Well, my work here is done for today, class is dismissed.

Stranger: See ya next week Dr. Robert

You have disconnected.

You: You don't wanna fuck with me.

Stranger: The United States goverment is informing you that your IP address has been added to their watchlist. It appears you have committed an internet crime within the last year and are advised to call the number 1803-458-2549 for more information. Please be aware that this conversation will be tracked and recorded. After sending more than 2 chat messages, this advisory will be re-sent. Stranger cannot see this message.

Stranger: ..

Stranger: Why?

Stranger: D:

You: Because I'll pick you up by the face and throw you into the sun.

Stranger: Lovely.

Stranger: I like you.

You: Shut up.

Stranger: No.

Stranger: Your mom.

You: I'll punch you so hard, my hand goes right through your body.
Stranger: *snort*

Stranger: Dude.

Stranger: You're an idiot XDDD

You: I fucked your mom so hard I gave her brain damage.

Stranger: ...ROFLMFAO.

Stranger: I love you.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: What the fuck...

Stranger: what?

You: Your face is seriously messed up.

Stranger: :O really?

Stranger: what am i gonna do?

You: Well, apply cream?

Stranger: maybe it's too late for that

You: Wow, is it that fucked up? Nose falling off like michael jackson?
Stranger: unfortunately

You: You should probably see a doctor.

Stranger: yeah...that's what i'm gonna do

Stranger: but maybe i don't need a doctor...i just need to superglu my nose back where it belongs

Stranger: *superglue

Your conversational partner has disconnected.