Stranger: Incredibly
Stranger: But I guess it also depends on what you mean by cute
Stranger: Looking?
Stranger: Or actions
You: Actions of course
Stranger: How about planning out first dates?
You: Hmm, that can be
You: Tell me more!
Stranger: Well
Stranger: Lets say I've asked you out
Stranger: I'd begin by picking you up
Stranger: That's the way Hollywood has bred into me it must be
Stranger: Oh, an we have to assume you're a girl
Stranger: (are you)?
Stranger: and*
You: Oh, no...but for this demonstration
You: I'm a girl
Stranger: Alright.
Stranger: I'll call you Lisa for now then
You: Okay!
Stranger: So Lisa, I would begin by picking you up
Stranger: We would then proceed to the nearest fair, or amusement park
Stranger: We would spend the night riding rides, and I would attempt to win you a stuffed animal.
You: Oh, you're such a hot guy, I love amusement parks!
You: Woo, I love my boobs too!
Stranger: I like them as well
Stranger: From there, we would proceed to the beach
Stranger: Where we would walk along it
Stranger: Perhaps swim
Stranger: Then have a bonfire
Stranger: Watch the sunset.
Stranger: How was that Lisa? Am I getting any?
You: Well...
You: No.
Stranger: Damn
Stranger: How close was I
Stranger: ?
You: Let me add this up
You: ONE SECOND
You: I'm feeling generous
You: 6/10
Stranger: Hmmm
Stranger: Where could improve
Stranger: Originality?
You: Yes, for one.
Stranger: I figured as much. It was pretty cliche
Stranger: Where else
You: I mean
You: Cute and romantic isn't really an amusement park
Stranger: Pshhh
Stranger: Serious?
You: And you didn't even have a moment with me on the faris wheel
Stranger: That was a given
Stranger: I would have paid the guy to stop us at the top
Stranger: Perhaps I should have expanded on the amusement park
Stranger: And when I said amusement park
Stranger: I meant more, small town fair
Stranger: with a midway
Stranger: you know what I mean?
You: I'm thinking more like romantic dinner
Stranger: Really? I think that's overdone
Stranger: Plus, that would come out on later dates
Stranger: First date, you want to have fun
Stranger: Not put pressure on by being too romantic
You: ANYWAYS
You: That was too rushed
You: And the cute factor was meh
You: Nothing really cute
Stranger: I disagree. But lets hear your first date with cute factor
Stranger: You can call me Beth.
You: Okay
You: Beth.
You: I walk up to the door
You: And knock
Stranger: Hello? Oh hi (your name here)
You: Robert
Stranger: Hi Robert.
You: Hiya Beth, you look absolutely stunning, ready for our date?
Stranger: Absolutely
Stranger: Where are you taking me? And you don't look so bad yourself ;)
You: I ask the questions here Beth, you give the fucking answers.
You: *I hand you a rose from behind my back*
Stranger: Awww. You didn't have to.
You: *Kiss you on the cheek and walk you out to the car, opening the door for you.*
You: After you my lady.
Stranger: Thank you
You:*As we ride in the car, I chat you up and say about one hundred million cute things to you*
You: We're here!
You: *Runs around and opens the door for you*
You: Beth?
You: Holy fuck...*I hit you over the head with a 7up bottle* Wake up!
Stranger: I'm waiting to see what happens next
Stranger: Besides, you said no questions
You: I need interaction to make this date happen!
Stranger: I'm afraid of you now
Stranger: Cute factor falling with all the abuse...
You: Girls love that, don't worry about it.
Stranger: hahahahha
Stranger: ok
Stranger: Where are we?
You: At the restaurant
Stranger: What type of food are we eating
You: Will you shut your fat mouth, we're not even out of the car yet.
You: *Opens the door for you.*
Stranger: * I step out*
You: BABADEE BOO BA DEE, THE QUEEN HAS ARRIVED *I shout and do a cartwheel*
You: *Now I step back and intertwine our arms as we walk through the doors of the restaurant.*
Stranger: *I'm slightly weirded out by this scene, but play along since you are my ride*
You: Damnit man, don't you know anything about women!
You: They like it when you're silly and crazy, but in a cute way.
Stranger: Hey man, I ain't stopping you
Stranger: Lay on the magic
You: This is how you seperate yourself from the competition damnit!
You: Alright now we walk through the doors
You: *I argue with the lady at the front desk.* What the fuck do you mean, you're closing.
You: Fuck you, monkey face!
You: *They kick us out*
You: *Instead we drivethrough mcdonalds*
You: What do you want my precious cupcake?
Stranger: Just a cheeseburger...with no onions or pickles
You: *pssshttt* I'll have a one cheeseburger with no onions or pickles.. *pssshhhttt* and one happy meal.
You: *pssshhttt* that'll be $5
You: What the fuck, you raised your prices here?
You: Listen lady, I'm not afraid to drive through taco bell
You: *I park the car in the parking lot* Here is your burger sweetie pie.
Stranger: *I don't really want to eat it, because I'm a member of PETA, and a total bitch about stuff like that*
Stranger: *But I do anyways*
You: Wait, you're a member of PETA arent you?
Stranger: Yes
You: Well, why'd you tell me to order this burger then?
Stranger: Well I was trying to be polite RObert. I didn't want to spoil our date
You: ....wow, you cold hearted wretched whore.
You: I didn't even find the toy in my happy meal yet.
Stranger: I'm sorry Robert. But did you really want to eat that anyways? I mean, they are hurting animals!
You: *I throw the burger in your face and push you out the car*
You: FUCK OFF
You: *I speed away*
Stranger: RObert, wait!!!!
You: How did I do?
Stranger: 9/10 sir, almost based entirely on how you treated a member of PETA
You: Well, I was going to kill you when you gave me the results.
You: But I think that's acceptable.
Stranger: Its tolerable
Stranger: I'm almost rated you higher, but you weren't violent enough
You: Damn, no wonder.
You: Well, my work here is done for today, class is dismissed.
Stranger: See ya next week Dr. Robert
You have disconnected.
